My style is active, collaborative. I understand by listening and asking questions.
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
I’m real, and committed to what I do, not pretentious, or aloof. My style is active, collaborative. I understand by listening and asking questions, clarifying whether I’m getting a person, and their concerns. I believe therapy is a mutual, though limited, relationship for the benefit of the individual or couple I’m working with. Because of this investment, I like to get to know the person I am working with, and where it’s relevant and appropriate, open to people know me. I’ve never related to the notion a therapist is paid to hear people’s problems. My belief is that each of us are striving toward better, but experience particular obstacles that affect our inherent abilities, how we see ourselves, or relate with others. I experience people and their concerns constructively, and recognize how they are capable of realizing what they want. People I’ve work with have often expressed I get their nuances, and that they’re treated as equals working with me.
COUPLES COUNSELING
“The right to express our thoughts means something only if we are able to have thoughts of our own.”
—Eric Fromm
I encourage couples to balance recognizing individuality while maintaining connectedness, and help deepen their involvement in the relationship and commitment to themselves.
Because relationships define much of who we are, understandably we have difficulty maintaining our sense of self in relationship. I commonly hear couples resign themselves to, simply accepting their partner’s differences. However, this essentially disregards each other’s individuality and integrity, and neither are being recognized, understood, appreciated or actually accepted. If our individual values aren’t part of the values of our relationships, then little of ourselves are invested in it—or our partners.
In my experience, “intimacy” is typically code for “sex,” as a result its potential for continuing individual and mutual growth goes unrealized. Accepting our partners for who they are is essential, but not at the expense of ourselves, or each of us actualizing who we are. When a relationship’s intimacy includes fostering each other individually, as well as mutually, a couple’s investment and involvement in their relationship is more rewarding, and thus, better.
Keywords: Couples therapy, Men's issues, depression, separation, divorce, addiction, substance abuse, relationships, couples, adolescents, psychotherapy, counseling, marital therapy, transitions, San Francisco, CA, Mental Health , psychotherapists in San Francisco, psychology today, yelp, Facebook, existential, career, communication, Narcissistic personality, borderline personality, attachment, Passionate Marriage, Performance anxiety, sex therapy, Codependency, ACA, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Recovery, Life Skills,
Interview Q&A
How long have you been in business?
I have worked in a variety of settings since 1998, including pre and post-graduate counseling with adults, couples, children, adolescents, and families, in supervised, and sole private practice.
I have graduate degrees in English/Creative Writing and Marriage and Family Therapy. Prior to psychotherapy training, I taught Composition, Fiction and Creative Writing courses at the University, Community College level.
My specialties include: Relationships, Separation and Divorce, Depression and Anxiety, Identity and Life Direction, Transitions, Men's Issues, and Addiction.
What is your primary product or service?
In my practice I work with individual adults, couples and adolescents. My areas of interest include, Men’s issues (especially around relationships, depression, identity and emotional awareness), relationships, divorce and separation, addiction, teen marijuana use and substance abuse.
Even if you initially don’t have a precise goal, giving yourself the opportunity to explore your circumstances, and aspects of yourself and life you’d like to improve or change can bring possibilities into awareness, and inspire a desire to do so. As you do this, we’ll collaboratively generate new ways of looking at and understanding how to put these improvements into practice. We will demystify apprehension around self esteem, confidence, and realistically assessing your abilities, talents and strengths. In my experience individuals often find these improvements are not only in your best interest, but in the best interest of those in your life.
I encourage couples to develop Differentiation: recognizing that individuality can mutually exist with commitment. The opposite of differentiation is enmeshment, a lack of regard for personal boundaries, and feeling one has to give up their identity to avoid repercussions–but later resenting it.
Often Couples need to recognize what each contributes to the dynamics of the relationship. Because these dynamic are co-created I see a couple’s difficulties, as a matter of cause and effect, rather than right and wrong (or score keeping). By deconstructing the patterns of communication–what is said and how it is received couples can recognize what actually detracts them from time effective, even enjoyable communication. I help couples learn how to help each other recognize they way each idiosyncratically engages based on their past relational experiences. Having strategies to understand and explain where a partner is coming from, helps to counter the rabbit hole of personalizing. The benefits to this approach is that it clarifies communication, takes each partner into consideration, allows each to continue to grow individually within the relationship, and takes the focal point of conflict off the relationship. Both individual’s integrity is recognized, gets validated and remains in tact, giving couples the sense of give and take they each want.
How do you differentiate yourself from other businesses in your category and area?
My style is active, informal, and humorous. Together we’ll articulate the changes you want, and collaboratively devise strategies to resolve the challenges of putting them into practice. Clients feel comfortable and validated with me. Therapy offers solutions, improved self esteem, and realistic recognition of abilities.
My Specialties Include:
Improving and Understanding Relationships and Communication
Working through Separation, and Resolving Divorce, and Co-Parenting
Successfully Managing Depression and Anxiety
Finding Meaning and Purpose in life
Making Successful Transitions
Men’s Issues
Addressing Substance Abuse, and Addictions
How many locations do you have and do you have plans to expand?
I have offices in San Francisco and Palo Alto.
Provide detailed directions to your location
In San Francisco, my office is at 1902 Webster Street (at Pine), in the Pacific Heights area, close to shops, cafe's and public transportation. Street parking is also available.
My Palo Alto office is at 555 MIddlefield Road (between University and Hamilton), also near shops and cafe's, and public transportation. Parking available.
What type of payments do you accept?
Cash, checks, Google Wallet. I do not accept insurance, but depending on your carrier or plan, I can provide Statements with the necessary and appropriate codes to submit for potential reimbursement
Who owns your company or runs daily operations?
I am in Private Practice.
What are your hours of operation?
In San Francisco: Tuesday mornings, Wednesday and Thursdays from 10-9pm and Fridays morning through early afternoon.
In Palo Alto: Mondays from 11Am to 8pm; with the possible addition of Fridays in the new year.
What is the best compliment anyone can give you?
"You got it. That was helpful. Thank you."
What is your favorite quote or Bible verse?
"The only people who are normal are the ones you don't know very well."
-- A former client
Contact Larry O'Connor, Marriage and Family Therapist:
